What does it all mean?

Joining a gym means walking into a place with its own language and a set of rules nobody wrote down. Here's what people are saying, and how not to be the person everyone's annoyed with.

The Words

Rep is short for repetition. One complete movement of an exercise. Lower the bar and press it back up, that's one rep.

How many you do depends on what you're after. Two to five reps with heavy weight builds maximum strength. Six to twelve is where most people spend most of their time, and it's the range that builds size while still adding strength. Fifteen or more leans toward muscular endurance.

Set is a group of reps done back to back before you rest. Three sets of ten means thirty total reps, done in three batches with a break between each.

Plates are the weights that slide onto a barbell. The 45-pounders are just called plates or 45s, sometimes big wheels. Smaller ones get money names: a 25 is a quarter, a 10 is a dime, a 5 is a nickel. So "put a quarter on each side" means add 25 pounds per side.

PR or PB is a Personal Record or Personal Best. Your own previous best, beaten. Most weight, most reps, fastest time. It's the only number in the gym worth comparing yourself to.

Mirror muscles are the ones you can see facing a mirror. Chest, biceps, abs, front shoulders. The phrase is a gentle dig at people who train only those and skip their back and legs. The real issue isn't vanity, it's balance. Pressing without pulling rounds your shoulders forward over time and causes problems there.

Bro-science is advice passed from one gym-goer to the next with nothing behind it. When somebody tells you to take a supplement or follow a program, ask where the information came from. If the answer is that a guy at their old gym swore by it, that's bro-science.

I'll disclose the obvious: I own a gym and sell training. So take my recommendation to use a certified professional with that in mind, and apply the same question to me that you'd apply to anybody. Ask where the information came from.

Vitamin S means anabolic steroids. So do "juice" and "gym candy." Steer clear.

The names people call each other.

These next four aren't definitions so much as labels, and every one of them is a put-down. You'll hear them. Worth knowing what they mean and worth knowing that somebody using them is telling you more about themselves than about you.

Newbie is you, in your first few weeks. Everyone in the building was one. The cure is showing up.

Resolutionary is someone who joins in January and stops coming by February. Gyms do count on it. The honest version of this is that the failure rate has nothing to do with January and everything to do with starting too hard and having no plan. Start smaller than you think you should, and you'll still be here in March.

Cardio Bunny describes someone who only ever does cardio. In practice it gets aimed at women almost exclusively, and it's meant to be demeaning. Ignore it.

The underlying point is worth keeping though. Cardio does what cardio does, and it's good for you. It just doesn't build much muscle. If you want strength, bone density and the metabolic benefits of muscle mass, you need to lift something. That's a reason to add resistance work, not to stop doing what you enjoy.

Machine Hog is someone who sits on a piece of equipment between sets while other people wait.

The rules nobody tells you.

Don't camp on the equipment. If you're resting between sets, get up. Sit on a bench nearby, walk around, stretch. Two minutes of rest with you draped over the machine reads very differently than two minutes of rest with you standing next to it.

Related: the machine is not a place to answer texts. If you're on your phone for four minutes, you're not resting, you're occupying.

Ask to work in. If someone's using what you want, ask. The phrase is "mind if I work in?" It means you'll do a set during their rest period, alternating.

Standing nearby staring at somebody until they leave is its own gym crime. Just ask.

Say yes when someone asks you. The right answer is "sure, let me finish this set." If you're training with a partner, say yes and tell them how many sets you have left so they can plan.

One exception. Working in doesn't really work on equipment that takes serious setup, like a leg press loaded with four plates a side when you're using one. It's fine to say "I've got three sets left, about six minutes, want me to come find you?"

Put your weights away. Every plate back on the rack, every dumbbell in its slot. Someone with 135 on the bar shouldn't have to strip your 315 first.

Wipe down what you sweat on. This is the least negotiable rule in the building.

Spotting

Spotting means standing by to help someone finish a lift they might not complete on their own. When it's done right, it's the reason people can push hard safely. When it's done badly, it's how people get hurt.

If someone asks you and you're willing, ask three questions first:

How many reps are you going for? So you know when to be ready.

Do you want a liftoff? Meaning, do you want help getting the bar out of the rack to start.

Where do you want my hands? Different lifts, different answers.

Some specifics worth knowing:

Bench press. Stand at the head of the bench, hands under the bar with an alternating grip, close but not touching. Don't take weight off unless they need it. Once you touch the bar, that rep is yours, not theirs.

Dumbbell press. Support at the wrists or elbows, never grab the dumbbells themselves. Grabbing the weights makes it worse.

Squats. Stand behind them and move with them, ready to hug under the arms across the chest. This one's harder than it looks, and it's fine to say you're not comfortable spotting a heavy squat. Safety bars in a rack do the job better than most people can.

If you're not sure, say so. "I've never spotted this, walk me through what you want" is a much better answer than nodding and hoping.

None of this is a test. Nobody's watching you as closely as you think, and the ones who are will have forgotten by tomorrow. Show up, put your weights away, and you'll be fine.

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1/6/2018
Updated 12/25/2018